Alice E. Riffee

September 18, 2007

Estate planning is a legacy for the living, Alice Riffee told Putnam Rotarians toady.

"If we die, if we are incapacitated," she said, "do our families know what we own, what we owe, and what we want done?"

The "family love letter" available through AXA Equitable provides "information for a time of confusion," said Riffee.

The failure to provide basic information causes family conflict in almost every case, and magnifies the emotional turmoil for those left behind.

The "family love letter" is a check list of essential information and an inventory of important documents.

First is the will, and the will should be well thought out: John Scroggin, who developed the family love letter, cites the case of a woman who had a child by a drug dealer. The father never saw the child and never provided any support. He was in prison most of the time.

Both mother and child died in a traffic accident.

The mother's will had provided that her estate would go to the child. But as it happened, the habitual criminal got it all. It was a simple will, but it did not do what the mother would have wanted.

A personal property disposal list is critical. Disposal of personal property causes more conflict that any other issue.

A living will, or medical power of attorney, can help avoid tremendous emotional and financial burdens to the family.

List all investment accounts, savings accounts, insurance policies. Show how your debts are paid: "Are payments deducted from your bank account? Placed on your credit card? Who has authority to access these accounts?"

An increasingly important part of the "family love letter" is an "ethical will." It has no set form or content, but is "designed to accommodate the unique personalities, family structure, values and thoughts of one generation to the next."

The ethical will is growing in importance as an estate planning instrument. It might include family history items, and personal statements: "I hope the family will learn from some of my experiences" -- which may be given. "I believe the most important things in life are . . . " and "It is my hope that my family will use its inheritance from me to accomplish the following goals in their lives."

Copies of a monograph, The Family Love Letter, may be obtained at www.scrogginlaw.com.